Ties to Saskatchewan

Although we live in Ottawa the majority of our family lives in Saskatchewan and as a result we spend lots of time in the Regina area. The favourite for the kids is the family farm with lots of equipment and animals - Teags always gravitated to the farm cats. It's amazing how in such a short life Teagan was able to touch every aspect of our lives - her memories are as omnipresent and adorable as she was.

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What to do with Mother's Day?

Today is a hard day and I suspect it will always be so...it's sad, complicated and on many levels so wrong. Yet for Teagan's brothers it's extremely important they are focused on celebrating the absolutely wonderful Mom that they have been blessed with. But...

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Let's Talk...

I commend Sheryl Sandberg for being open about her grief in the form of a book. It's something that collectively we do a very poor job from. Previously Patton Oswalt opened up his life to the pain after his loss. Traumatic loss is full of heartache, challenge and unwelcome surprises. When people in the public eye talk about grief it performs an important role in role in awareness and dialogue.

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Just One Thing...

There are so many sad stories that you can't get through a week without multiple jaw dropping moments where children are being abused. In the last 24 hours I have read about an online predator who tormented young girls online (leading beautiful Amanda Todd to end her life), a police officer who caged and tortured his son in his basement and a child being removed from a loving foster home of 9 years. That is all without making any effort to find thos stories...lord knows how many more happened.

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How?

Literally how? That is how did a beautiful 8 year old daughter meet her end. How could any person let alone a parent be the person to end a child's life. You are left with question after question yet do you really want the answer. Many nights are lost wondering, crying and wondering some more.

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Murder for free?

This week we have a court decision in Canada that for most people was unfathomable; as unfathomable as the original crime itself. A man who beheaded a stranger on a greyhound bus and proceed to cannibalize him was given an absolute discharge…yes you read that right.
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Fall on my Mind

It's hard to imagine but here we are in early February and I am already thinking about the Fall. As you might expect the reason for that is the trial of Teagan's killer starts at the end of September. At this point it's really just a million questions...

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Now what...

It's been awhile since I posted on the blog, which is strange because I certainly don't lack inspiration or content. However, it can be overwhelming the amount of tragedy that children in North America suffer almost every week.

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As the Seasons Change

Dealing with the loss of a child and grief is a complex deal. Every situation is unique but there are certainly common elements. For me personally I find weekend mornings are a time I think about Teagan often. I loved waking up and wondering where to find the kids playing together as they always would be. However, even more than weekends what really hits home is the changing of the seasons. 

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Why?

Just a few short years ago Teagan's baby brother Jack was sleeping and as usual his big sister Teagan gently rubbing his arm - it was so amazing when she was living with us in Ottawa. It was the best time of our lives for everyone in the family including sweet Teagie. Now she is dead and we wonder each day what could have been different? and how could we have prevented it? and why did our system have her in the hands of the person who would then kill her?

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Happy Birthday Teagan

Happy Birthday Teagan! We think about you every day and you will always live on in our hearts and actions...so incomprehensible that she only had 8 of them. Teagan was a special kid who cared more about others than she did about herself. 

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Leadership requires Awareness

Tomorrow I will be at the White House in Washington, DC for the arrival ceremony of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. It will be another opportunity to share Teagan's story with many of the people who influence policy in North America.

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Privacy vs. Security

Privacy versus security is dominating the news this week with the Apple versus FBI driving headlines. However, this issue is not new and companies trying to find the right balance between security and privacy has been going on for decades. Let me start by saying that this is a very important debate with no “right" answer just different approaches based on your political philosophy.

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Change for Children

It has been over a year since Teagan was murdered and in some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. There are days where you just sit there wondering how it possible that she could be gone - in reality that is a part of every single day. But Teagan deserves more than sympathy and sorrow! So we must drive change to protect children across the planet. Once we recovered from the shock and horror of Teagan's biological mother ending her life we started to think about what could we have done to save her.

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365 Painful Days

It has now been 365 days since we lost Teagan and so much has changed. What will never change is the humanity, beauty and spirt of Teagan. She was a treasure not just to our family but to the entire world - empathy, love, kindness and so much more.

The death of a child is not something you heal from - you are simply a different person. Some acts of violence are unforgivable which does not mean you have hatred or desire vengeance. It simply means that out if respect for the dead and the children of the future you refuse to legitimize their slaughter under any circumstances. To soften the harsh reality of murder only emboldens those who commit the ultimate act of inhumanity.

 

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