Dealing with the loss of a child and grief is a complex deal. Every situation is unique but there are certainly common elements. For me personally I find weekend mornings are a time I think about Teagan often. I loved waking up and wondering where to find the kids playing together as they always would be. However, even more than weekends what really hits home is the changing of the seasons.
As the Seasons Change
As you put away clothes and bring out the next set of gear you inevitably run into Teagan's clothes, pictures and toys. In Canada the seasons can be very distinct so there is lots of work to do. The process causes you to remember, reflect and more often than not cry. I find I often procrastinate on preparing for the changes now, whereas before I was always somebody who got a early start on the process.
On Teagan's Facebook page you can see pictures of Teagan with her brothers as they spend time in Niagara Falls when her littlle brother was just a baby - https://www.facebook.com/TeagansArmy/
When Teagan was with her brothers you always knew she would have a smile on her face. Teagan's smile would still be here today in not for the failings of many aspects of our family protection systems. People knew she was at risk and did not speak, people lied about her biological mother being a good mother, a judge ordered her back to live with her killer, relatives chose to ignore the situation rather than risk upsetting her biological mother, Doctors wrote assessments without any attempt to get facts, a teacher at Rosemary Heights did the same, and children's aid was really a non-factor even after the killer attempted suicide. Where was Teagan in all of this? Without a voice...and clinging to the times she had peace and sanity with her brothers in Ottawa.
Now we have to change that and over the coming months we will be releasing some short videos on what we hope to accomplish and why. Of course the person who killed Teagan goes to trial next June and must be held accountable for taking the life of an innocent child. We hope the justice system will see through the desperate lies to avoid justice that are sure to come (and in fact were attempted often to try and alienate Teagan from her family).
As a final note for those who are dealing with the challenges of grief I highly recommend http://www.whatsyourgrief.com as a very active blog with very good content.
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